Life as a Royal cat
by piratingelvenpyro
Summary: All the books from Fat Louies point of view...doncha just love fat Louie?
1. royal cat

I was quite bored...so this is what evaporates from my boredom. no flames pleeeease. I couldn't stand the pain! not that anyone will actually read this.

Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns ALL! ALL! ALL! MUFUFUFUF

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The Tale of the Royal Cat.

It all started last fall...that is when everything changed. Before that, my owner, Mia was relatively sane. She would go to about how people made fun of her...then do boring things, such as go on the computer, listen to music etc.

But last fall, Mia began her freshman year at some famous scientist person's school. She launched an insane obsession with writing. Seriously! She would always be writing, either in one of her million journals, or on the Internet, or homework. Sometimes she even forgot to feed me because she would be writing. Although she claims to love me more than anyone in the world! (Oh yes...I have read those million journals.)

So one day, Mia didn't come home after school...or all night. I presumed she was at Lily's house. As she usually is when she isn't doing boring things. The next day, her DAD was there. I figured this must be serious! So when Mia finally came home the next morning, I leaped upon her diary and dragged it away before she could pick up her pen.

I was shocked to read what I read. It all boiled down to...my owner was a princess! I assumed that made me royal too! But she also said that she wasn't going to tell anyone, even Lily and she was her best friend! Darn! I thought. No one will know about my royalty! BAH!!!!!! What's the point? But apparently Mia isn't too photogenic, and she doesn't wish to be blinded by paparazzi. I don't mind though. Most pictures of me come out quite nicely.

Another thing Mia had been writing about lately is a boy named Josh. He sounds like trouble to me. If Mia had ever brought him over, I would have scared him off with my ferocious lion like growls. Even though Mia says he can see into her soul or something sappy like that. Guess what? I can see her soul... all that is in there is a bit of dust and lasagna. Not that I don't love her...she was just going through a stressful phase.

So Mia wasn't coming home after school anymore. I read that she was taking "princess lessons" from her dreaded Grandmere. Ah she is dreaded indeed. Her AND her evil little pooch Rommel. I don't think he really is of the canine species. The few times I have seen him, he looked more like an alien to me. A very nervous alien. I feel very bad for Mia, Grandmere scares me so much, I go and hide inside Mia's combat boot when she comes over...well I don't really fit in it anymore...that's why they call me fat Louie, so I just hide in the shadows now. I noticed that Mia now had a bodyguard. I wonder what it would be like to have a body guard. I don't think I would enjoy it. Poor Mia.

I wasn't seeing much of Mia those days, she was always studying (well pretending to study) or at princess lessons... one day she came home and I didn't recognize her. I darted away from her, quite scared of her new hairstyle...it was as bright as the sun with streaks of gold, and it took me a minute for my eyes to adjust to her do and makeup. Mia must have sensed my aversion to her new makeover, because she became huffy, and she commenced to write furiously in her journal.

A little while later, Mia wrote in her diary that Grandmere had told the press about her royalty! I would have thought nothing less of that wicked lavender clown. Yes! I thought, I would finally have my lifetime of fame. But alas no one ever brought me a tiara. And Mia was upset over all of this. Apparently Lily had gotten upset that Mia hadn't told her and Mia had gone and got a new friends named Tina and...blah blah blah...oh what a tangled web we weave.

Mia got invited to...a dance of some sort. She was SO excited, I was happy to see her so jovial again, until I found out who invited her. Oh yes indeed 'twas that evil Josh Richter. I could just picture him telling all his friends that he was going to the dance with the princess. I could tell the date would be a disaster. I tried telling Mia that he just asked her so that he could be the one to go out with a "princess". But all that came out was a feeble... "Meow."

What will I do with my owner?? What a troubled youth she is. If all teenagers are like this...then I propose that cat's band together, and overthrow the government! I don't know why...we just should. And that is all I have to say.

COMING SOON! The kitty diaries 2, kitty in the spotlight.


	2. kitty in the spotlight

So...here 'tis. My favorite book is #3 so...i will re read it before i write the next chapter.

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Well things are definitely looking up for my owner...Amelia Mignonetter..something something Thermopolis Renaldo. She will soon (well actually in 9 months) be having a wee baby brother or sister, and her mom is marrying her algebra teacher. She no longer writes of Josh. Thank god. I read her whole description of the dance...at least the part she actually attended. WOW, well what can you expect from someone who keeps a comb in the cuff of his sleeve?

Mia has developed a new crush now. One that I have given my approval of, Her best friend's brother Micheal. I didn't even have to read her diary to figure that out. She tells me about him every day! AHHH! About how cute he is, and if he is the one sending those anonymous love letters. Oh yes my fine furry friends, I have read those too! What a nosy little pussy cat am I! I myself couldn't tell if it was actually him or not...but the truth will come out eventually.

Ok, you see, I never knew that throwing things out of windows was illegal. I do it quite often. Well, I don't THROW mind you, I nudge, and whenever Mia has something particularly hazardous to my health, I chuck it. Such as that golden retriever picture frame Lily gave her for her 10th birthday. Apparently Mia didn't know it was illegal either...seeing as how I read that Lily dared her to throw a vegetable of some sort out of her window for her television show. I was proud that she showed that there was an edgy bone in her body. Even though Micheal told Lily to edit out that part on the show.

Ah! I forgot to mention Princess Mia's traumatizing interview experience! She bombed it according to her journal. I didn't think it was that bad. But her dad will need to recover from the shocking discovery that his daughter's mom is going to have a baby. Hehehehe! I chuckle at this drama of secrets and lies...and interviews.

The day after Mia's whole peculiar vegetable out the window thing, her interview was going to be on air. I couldn't wait to hear people's reactions.

Her friends were all furious. Well with the exception of Tina Hakim Baba. She thought it was a miracle that Mia had said her name on television. I would have thought that too. But hey! No one ever mentions the cat on really important interviews. And she says she loves me more than anything. According to her journal, and her distressed expression that night, Mia had lost a few friends. Including Lily, and Shameeka, who said that her dad was switching her to a new school because of some thing Mia said about how evil her school was. I cry! Pitiable Mia wasn't meant for large things such as interviews!

Micheal asked Mia to go to the Rocky Horror picture show on Halloween with his computer club. Not like a date...just to go.

The person writing her those letters asked her to go too...I began to think that the mysterious penman wasn't our dear Micheal. Again I tried to tell Mia she was getting her hopes up. But alas I only purred. If Mia only knew I could write in my very own journal...then we could communicate! But I don't want to confuse dear Amelia anymore. She has enough on her plate never mind an educated cat.

So off Mia went that night. I had never been more anxious for her to get home so I could analyze her journal and find out who the secret note dude was.

It was a very late night that night. When she returned from her movie...it wasn't Halloween anymore. It was November.

And Mia had a boyfriend.

And it wasn't Micheal.

It was some guy named Kenny.

From her biology class.

This is SO not gonna work out.

Love Fat Louie

COMING SOON...The kitty diaries 3 Kitty in love.


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